Our Home Church Journey

Get to know the Wood family, part 2

Happy Saturday, everyone. Here’s another “Get to know the Wood family” post. I know that the topic of church can be a rather sensitive topic for many; so, grab yourself a cup of coffee and prepare yourself for discomfort, disagreement, and possibly a bit of taking offense. Sounds fun, right?

Among other reasons I’ll soon get into, we started our home church journey in 2018 as an attempt to introduce Jesus to the litany of people who would share a meal with us but wouldn’t make the leap to visiting our church with us. Our hypothesis was that there were A) a lot of people out there who fit in the category of “will share a meal with someone but will not—for one reason or another—attend traditional church service”; and, B) a lot of people out there, like us, who felt an inner calling to a more engaged, relational way of doing church and life. So, along with a few wonderful friends, we took a leap and gave it a shot.

The years of our home church experience were wonderful and challenging and diverse and encouraging and weird. Quite a variety of friends made their way through our living room. Christian. Muslim. Atheist. Deist. “Unchurched” Christians. A member of a rather radical Black Power organization. Democrat. Republican. Socialist. Needless to say, discussion was, um, always interesting. Frankly, I don’t think that we could have loved it more.

Almost 5 years after our home church journey began, medical issues pummeled and isolated our family. Living in a hospital in Fort Worth, we found ourselves unable to continue our beloved home church; but the experience forever changed us. No one knows what’s coming in 2024 or beyond—least of all me—but, I feel like it’s a good time to look ahead. I feel compelled to share some thoughts from our journey. What follows is, believe it or not, a very abbreviated version of my thoughts on church. Perhaps our experience will encourage you on your own faith journey.

I cannot express what a blessing the home church process has been to our lives and to our faith. I loved the conversations. I loved the disparity of opinions that walked through our door. I loved seeing our fellow home churchers pour time, talent, and money into the community in direct, relational ways. The whole experience left me quite optimistic that a home church model could be a powerful way to re-engage the world. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against “big church.” My wife and I have both been a part of “big church” our entire lives and have seen first-hand the blessing it can be to a community. Many of our family members, best friends, most wonderful supporters, and most admired people are members of various large churches—both denominational and nondenominational. Those churches have shaped our lives for the better. Careese and I both cherish our respective church upbringings and continue to deeply respect and admire the congregations we grew up in. (For those of you who don’t know us, I grew up at Central Church of Christ. Careese grew up at Trinity Fellowship Church. Both are in Amarillo, TX.) That said, I believe there is a growing segment of society that might better engage with a home church style rather than traditional big church style. Allow me to explain and give a little background…

Every time I read back through Paul’s letters to New Testament believers and churches, I am encouraged and challenged.

The early church movement was objectively kind of a mess. And God blessed it, grew it, used it, and loved it. As the growing group of somewhat confused new converts to “The Way” began to organize, they blended their practice of traditional Jewish worship (prayers at the temple at 9am, 3pm, and sunset—see Acts 3:1) with a practice of diligently meeting together in a growing network of house churches. Those gatherings looked quite different than modern, American-style churches but shared a common spirit and focus on breaking bread, fellowship, prayer, worship, and sacrificial giving to meet the needs of others. Those gatherings had moments of pure peace and joy—joy that was the envy and desire of everyone who visited. And, those gatherings had moments of divisiveness, sinfulness, and utterly missing the point.

In short…

Corinth had all kinds of issues: the celebration of immorality. Chaotic gatherings that bred disunity. Bad theology. Pride issues. In fact, Corinth’s issues were so bad that Paul basically says, “You guys need to be reminded of Christianity 101. Let’s go back to the basics…” in 1 Corinthians 15. The church in Galatia seemed to have issues with works-based theology. The church in Ephesus seemed pretty solid, but needed a bit of encouragement toward unity and understanding the fullness of grace. As for Philippi, well, Paul loved and had relatively few critiques for the church there…which is pretty awesome considering the first converts that we know of in Philippi were a seemingly incompatible trio of a Jewish merchant, a Greek slave girl who was like a carnival fortune-telling sideshow, and a Roman jailer. The church in Colossae was plagued by smooth talkers—a few powerfully-speaking, intelligent-sounding, but otherwise totally wrong (theologically speaking) people were misleading church members. The church in Thessalonica suffered from immorality and eschatology issues. The list goes on…

Despite all of this, God used these diverse and messy gatherings of believers to spread the hope and message of Christ into the world, and into the future…ultimately to us Amarilloans…a couple thousand years and several thousand miles away.

That said, I’ve wondered what Paul would write in 1 Amarilloans.

My years in church prior to home church were marked by a pervasive inner angst—an angst that I couldn’t quite articulate at the time. I loved the relationships. I loved our Sunday morning class. But, I spent a fair amount of time unsettled, desiring something more. Based on a number of conversations I’ve had over the years, I was far from alone. The New Testament early church seemed to be marked by life-changing levels of passion, excitement, unity, and service. Of course, as I mentioned, the Bible is quite clear that the early church spent plenty of time fighting off problems, sin, and discord. But on the whole, passion, excitement, unity, and service seemed to dominate.

Passion. Excitement. Unity. Why did I so rarely feel that in church? Why did church on Sunday morning often feel more like a chore to keep a dying organization from falling apart rather than a unified movement to storm the gates of hell as described in Matthew 16:18?

5 years after we began our home church journey, I’m better able to articulate the cause of my inner angst—that inner angst I felt while attending traditional church. I spent the majority of my tithe, volunteer time, and talent serving as a cog in a giant organizational funnel. I’d provide food for this or that. I’d provide childcare for this or that. I’d serve on a committee for this or that. I’d set up a room for a meeting or clean up a room after a meeting. I’d give money for renovations or staff salaries. None of those things were or are wrong of course; but most of those things were usually a step or two removed from relationship and discipleship and were, more often than not, confined to within the four walls of the church building. That created a problem for me, because I used the organization as an excuse to avoid direct discipleship. I excused myself from “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey…” with the rationale that “I’m serving an organization that does that.”

I had bought into an unstated (and sometimes stated) theory: if we build out the right programs, building aesthetics, children’s programs, financial structure, and teaching structure, people will funnel into the church. There, they will encounter Jesus. There, lives will be changed. In other words, if we pour our time, talent, and treasure into building an attractive organizational funnel, people will come. If we build it, they will come. So, I personally spent the majority of my time and tithe building and serving the funnel rather than directly and relationally serving people.

Don’t get me wrong, I think there is a need and place for megachurch-style church programs and ministries. (After a lifetime of “big church” and 5 years of home church, yes, I am very aware that many have been burned, scarred, and harmed by megachurches. But, God has changed a lot of lives, fed a lot of hungry people, helped a lot of sick people, cared for a lot of widowed and orphaned people, and saved a lot of lost people who found themselves roaming the halls of megachurches.) Despite all its flaws, the American church model has reached many for Christ and has provided an avenue for authentic relationships for many. For me personally though, I needed to be forced out of the organizational funnel. The home church model prodded me to do just that.

In many ways, home church felt like a reversal of the funnel entirely. My tithe money was more directly tied to the needs of the community in a relational way. My service felt more like discipleship/relational service to people rather than service to an organization. This excites me about home church movements moving forward: reversing the funnel—focusing on going into all the world rather than focusing on funneling all the world into a place or an organization. Home church felt more like a sending out rather than a funneling in. I love that every aspect of our home church gatherings were geared as such. I could be wrong, but I think Paul would encourage a “reversing of the funnel” in the letter of 1 Amarilloans…and maybe 1 Americans. He might even say something super-eloquent about how a funnel looks a lot like a trumpet when it’s reversed.

In a nutshell, that is my vision for my church involvement moving forward: that I keep a focus on prayerfully, actively, and collectively pouring the love of Christ out on the community moreso than trying to build an attractive organization. To put it another way: I hope that, when we Christians part ways after our Sunday morning gatherings (whether mega church, small church, or home church), we look and feel more like we’re breaking out of a huddle in the midst of a football game and less like we’re walking out of box seats of a stadium after a game is over. Here’s how that played out during our Sunday gatherings. I think you’ll see why I loved it so much.

Prayer time. For years, the Wood family nightly prayer time has had one excellent unintended consequence: shaming me into action. Should I fall into a habit of saying shallow and redundant prayers or go a week without meaningful prayer requests, it was a sign that my life, my community involvement, or my prayer life had grown too shallow. Our home church prayer time on Sunday mornings had a similar consequence. If there was nothing outside of Sunday mornings giving me cause for prayer, I needed to get out more. I needed to act. I needed to serve. I needed to put effort into relationships. I think Sunday morning prayer time should do the same for all believers...be largely informed by our life outside of Sunday morning…our stories of interacting with the world and trying to share the love of Christ.

Worship time. There was a variety of worship in early church gatherings (1 Corinthians 14:26, Ephesians 5:19). I think this is partly because people connect with God in different ways at different times. During our home church time, we tried to do the same: a mix of hymns, a cappella, and worship songs. Sometimes beautiful. Sometimes awkward. Sometimes completely off-key. Sometimes laugh-out-loud bad. Always wonderful. Two quick additional thoughts on home church worship time:

• My hope was that those who didn’t know the songs (or those who didn't worship our God) used song time as contemplation time. I have heard of churches that cater their song time to the “unchurched.” They sing popular secular Billboard 100 songs rather than hymns or worship songs in an attempt to make the time attractive to outsiders. I understand that viewpoint, but I view worship time as a gathering of believers to worship our God. While I wanted people to feel comfortable in our home and welcomed to express any and all opinions, I wanted to remain focused on reversing the funnel. We aren’t called to create an organizational structure that is attractive to outsiders. We’re called to worship our God consistently, letting love and service pour out of that worship into the community and into the world.

• While it wasn’t the main purpose of our worship time, for me, worship time served as an opportunity to learn different worship styles that could be drawn from in the real world: whether in pain or prison or joy. I’ve read a number of stories of the persecuted and oppressed. In almost every story I can think of, songs and music helped sustain them during their darkest times and added joy during their brightest times. Songs certainly helped sustain our family during our darkest hours. In fact, I often pulled songs that sustained us into Sunday morning worship time. I loved that home church allowed us (and others) to do that type of thing.

Teaching/discussion time. 1 Corinthians 14:26 “…each of you has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation.” The picture here is of shared responsibility. To me, it seems that the early Christians were out in society proclaiming the good news, serving the outcasts, and loving the lost. Then, they gathered together and talked about what God showed them through their service. What did they learn? Who did they encounter whom the community of believers could help with money, time, or resources? What challenges did they face, and what does the Bible say to inform those challenges? In other words, I think the lives the early Christians led outside of church informed their gatherings every bit as much as their gatherings informed their lives. As Francis Chan states more eloquently (sorry, I can’t find the interview), we “churched” folks have a strong tendency towards study before action. For example, suppose we see a need in the refugee community. We Christians are sometimes more inclined to create a 12-week Bible study and dive into what the original Hebrew and Greek say about what we should do to help the refugee community than we are to hop in our car, drive across town, knock on a door, and ask how we can help. Some of us are inclined to finish seminary before we try to make disciples. We study and study and study and study…with the intention of acting only after we have acquired all the answers and wisdom. Unfortunately, too often we forget to act. We get lost in an endless sea of theological study, discussion, and knowledge. Sunday morning discussion time should always be more than theological theorizing. I believe that our actions in the community—or trials and errors, successes and failures—should permeate our teaching/discussion time rather than waiting for our teaching/discussion time to compel us to action.

One more note on discussion time…In John 21, Jesus tells Peter to “feed my lambs.” It is worth noting how sheep eat food. A shepherd doesn’t puree a bunch of grass in a food processor and subsequently ladle it into the mouths of his sheep. A shepherd leads his sheep to pasture. The sheep do the work of eating. Whether it’s me or whoever, I don’t think it’s the facilitator or teacher’s job to puree the Bible and do all the work of studying or learning for the group. I think it’s the job of the facilitator to lead the group to the grass or keep the group in the grass. The Bible was written in such a way as to be understood by, applied by, spoken through, and powerfully change the lives of anyone—whether seminarian or high school dropout. And, God reveals different things about his word to different people at different times. I felt like home church discussion times allowed the flexibility to tap into the revelations of God in each of us sitting in the room…not just in the person who happened to facilitate more than others. I think there can be a danger in becoming too dependent upon one person ladling out a puree-ed gospel week after week. “…each of you has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation.” 1 Corinthians 14:26

Giving. Giving was easily one of my favorite things about home church. Our giving became more directly tied to relationships than it had been in the past. I loved pooling resources with other home churchers to directly help people in need. Of course, we lost some tax deductions on some of our financial giving since it was given directly to people rather than organizations. But, oddly, Jesus didn’t seem too concerned with my ability to deduct my tithe on my taxes.

Shared mealtime. As I read back through the Bible a few years ago, the emphasis on shared meals surprised me. God seems to place a crazy high value on sharing meals or ‘breaking bread’ together. He doesn’t just suggest it. He flat out commands it…repeatedly…perhaps as much as prayer and fasting. Every week as we shared Sunday lunch together in our home, I understood more and more about why God places such a high value on shared meals. Mealtime breeds authenticity, breaks down barriers, opens space to work through conflict, compels deeper bonds, sparks laughter, and solidifies relationships in a way that none of the other elements of gatherings do. We made shared Sunday lunch a part of every Sunday morning gathering, and it was something I looked forward to every single week.

Since my therapeutic email rapidly devolved into a long and rambling TED Talk (sorry), I’ll end it as such. I read an article recently where Elon Musk decried the “M.B.A.-ization of America”. In essence, it can be dangerous for businesses to overvalue those with MBA degrees (who have an intricate theoretical knowledge of business) and undervalue those with real world, trial-and-error experience. It’s not that MBA degrees are bad. It’s just that A) clean, theoretical knowledge doesn’t always jive in the messy real world; and, B) MBAs have a tendency to overthink things. Too often, MBAs get stuck in a process of “Ready. Aim. Aim. Study. Aim. Aim. Consult. Aim. Aim.” rather than “Ready. Aim. Fire.” or “Fire. Ready. Aim.” They spend too much time working on organizational structure and too little time focusing on the product or end user. My point: just as there is a danger in the over-M.B.A.-ization of America, I think there’s a danger of the over-seminarian-ization of American church. It’s not that seminary degrees are bad. It’s just that seminarians can have a tendency toward overthink things—spending too much time working on organizational structure and too little time focusing on the “end user.” While I don’t have a seminary degree, I do have an MBA. True to stereotype, I’m remarkably good at overthinking, overanalyzing, and generally avoiding action in favor of theoretical contemplation. Every single person who has sat in our living room for home church—especially those who did so week after week for years—helped fight the good fight of dragging me out of my head and into relationships. I couldn’t be more thankful for that. My hope and prayer for any church Christians are involved with moving forward is that…

…it will continue to drag us (particularly the overly analytical amongst us) out of our heads and into relationships.

…it will continue to motivate us to go out and serve people personally rather than funnel people in organizationally.

…parting ways after our gatherings will continue to feel more like breaking a huddle in a big game than leaving box seats in a stadium after a game is over.

…God will use all of us—individually and communally—to show his glory to those who don’t know him as well as those who do.

…and that we’ll all continue to sit around, share some food, and talk about all this stuff with “glad and sincere hearts” like they did in Acts 2:46.

Thoughts? Comment below or shoot me an email. Thanks for reading!